


Satanic Fur Beast

by JustAPassingGlance



Category: Glee
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-03
Updated: 2013-10-03
Packaged: 2018-03-01 03:25:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2757779
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustAPassingGlance/pseuds/JustAPassingGlance
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Of all the gifts Cooper has ever given their family, this is definitely the one that Sebastian appreciates the least.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Satanic Fur Beast

**Author's Note:**

> Full working title: Satanic Fur Beast or The Obscenely Ridiculous Things that Blaine Anderson is Willing to do for his Obscenely Ridiculous Husband.
> 
> For my snugglebunny <3

"What’s that?" Sebastian asked, looking up from where he was cutting up vegetables for dinner to see his husband struggling with an oversized box.  
  
"From Cooper." Huffing, Blaine heaved it onto the table. "I think its a p-r-e-s-e-n-t for," he jerked his head towards the entertainment room where their four year old was occupied watching cartoons.  
  
”He does realize her,” Sebastian dropped his voice to a whisper, “birthday isn’t for another month?”  
  
Blaine shrugged. If there was ever a time that he tried to understand his older brother he certainly didn’t remember it anymore. Reaching around Sebastian he scooped up a handful of diced tomatoes and popped them in his mouth.  
  
Shaking his head, Sebastain laid the knife down on the counter, double-checking to make sure the blade was facing in. Just because he had a husband who could stitch up a screaming child in seconds didn’t mean it was how he wanted to spend his Wednesday night.  
  
“You take over here and I’ll hide this away somewhere our little monkey can’t get to it.” Even with his longer arms, Sebastian could only just reach around the edges. “Just try and leave us something,” he called over his shoulder.  
  
By 11 o’clock that night Blaine was practically vibrating off the couch they had curled up on to watch the news. And every time he thought Sebastian wasn’t looking he kept shooting concentrated glances in the direction of the study, as though he suddenly possessed x-ray vision.  
  
“Really, Blaine? Is whatever your idiot brother sent us really more important than the fact that,” he checked the bottom of the screen ”some old man just won the lottery and he’s using the winnings to buy—Huh, so that’s why they didn’t show that on the 6 o’clock.” He said at the same time Blaine squeaked,  
  
“You can’t say that on news.” Quick as a flash Blaine had shut the television off and was pulling Sebastian to his feet. “Definitely more important.” Without looking back he walked from the room, giving his ass an extra wiggle as incentive for his husband to follow.

“Fine,” he heard muttered from behind him followed by the trudging clump of footsteps.

While it couldn’t be said that Cooper was a good gift giver, his gifts were certainly always interesting. Right before they had moved to Malawi they received 10 litres each of bug spray, enough sun screen for an entire village and giant posters of mundane things like Starbucks, mailboxes, grass, and paved roads. (“You put them altogether and it’s just like home,’ Cooper had said proudly.’)

Cooper also was not known for his wrapping abilities. If they were lucky things would be randomly thrown into gift bags with tissue paper (still in the packaging) buried somewhere.

Blaine was already tearing off the tape by the time Sebastian made it into the office. Cooper, apparently, had decided to forgo the wrapping entirely, instead leaving a note with $40 attached ‘to get it done at the mall.’

“Look, Seb. They’re toys from when we were kids!” Blaine exclaimed, pulling the flaps of the box further back. Eagerly he waved a Polly Pocket set in front of Sebastian’s face. “Do you remember these?”

“Must have missed that part of my childhood.” Sebastian wrinkled his nose distastefully as the pieces rattled around their heart shaped container.

“She’s going to love these.” His hand was already diving back into the box.

Gingerly Sebastian joined him, groping around until he found something furry. With minimum care he yanked it upwards, dislodging several other toys on the way. It had barely made it out of the box before he was dropping it back down like he had been burned.

“No.” Vehemently, he shook his head as he all but stumbled back from the desk. “Absolutely not. You are throwing that out right now.”

“What?” Blaine’s eyebrows furrowed in concern. Curiously he peered downwards. “I don’t-”

“That  _satanic_ _fur beast_ ,” Sebastian pointed a shaking finger, “is not staying in this house.”

“This?” Blaine picked up the offending object and cuddled it in his arms. “It’s just a Furby. I used to drive Cooper crazy with mine when we were kids. He probably thinks this is payback.There’s like five in there. I’m sure they don’t even work anymore.”

Sebastian visibly paled. “No. No way. No.”

Incredulously Blaine asked, “Are you scared? Of a child’s toy?”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” he snapped sharply. “I just want it as far from me and my family as possible.” He shuddered under the toy’s demonic, unblinking gaze. “Except maybe you,” he added with a glare at Blaine’s laughter.

Not even Blaine’s pout weakened his resolve.

“Okay,” Blaine finally conceded. “We’ll get rid of them. But you can explain to Cooper where they disappeared to.”

“Back to hell where they belong,” Sebastian murmured under his breath.

Blaine gathered all of them up and set them apart from the rest of the toys. “I’ll throw them out first thing in the morning, promise.”

“Tonight,” he insisted. “Preferably in the neighbors garbage.”

“I love you dearly, but I’m not breaking into the Lowell’s garage in the middle of the night to accommodate your weird phobia.”

“Tomorrow is garbage day. Their bins are already on the street. You wouldn’t be breaking in to anywhere.”

With a disparaging sigh, Blaine went back to the kitchen and returned with two black garbage bags and crammed the Furbies into them. Under his husband’s eagle-eyed watch he walked them out of the house and down the street where, after guiltily peering around, he heaved the lid off the Lowell’s garbage bin and threw the bags into it.

“Happy?” He grumbled as Sebastian swooped down to peck a kiss to his cheek when he went back into their house.

“Ecstatic,” he beamed. “Best husband ever.”

“And don’t you forget it, Mr. Anderson.”

“Mmm,” Sebastian hummed pressing their bodies together. “I do love when you call me that.”

“Shall we retire to the bedroom then, Mr. Anderson?”

“After you,” Sebastian grinned and bowed him up the stairs.   

**Author's Note:**

> Apparently this is set in the SYH verse (or a SYH divergent verse)? Huh. Who knew?


End file.
